The Haunting.

WARNING: this isn't a fun read. it might be kind of a downer. you may want to skip down to something else for something to make you smile.

I love Harry Potter. A lot. One of my friends from high school was equally as passionate and we went to several book release parties and such together. This summer, our friendship ended because I couldn't go with her to the Harry Potter amusement park. I'm not going to explain the whole tragedy but it was really sad. We had been friends for almost seven years and she let her temper and harmful words gets the best of the situation. Some words should never be said. Those are normally the ones you wish you could take back. But it was years of getting pelted with that kind of words that I had to say enough was enough.

I was stern with her and told her that she wasn't treating me with the respect our friendship deserved and that it would be a shame to see it end after all the great and rough times we'd shared. But it wasn't enough for her. You can't ask a child to be an adult and expect great results, and that's exactly what I was doing. So I had to let it go. I was really down about it and I talked to my mom to see what she thought. She said "Kristen, you love Jesus and she doesn't. No matter how hard you try to explain your feelings, she's not going to respect or understand them because she doesn't love Him. You may think you have a lot in common with her but, if her heart doesn't belong to Jesus, you don't have any thing in common with her at all. It all comes down to loving Him." John 15:19 says "If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." 

It will always be easier to part ways with the world than it will be to struggle and be weighed down by it. I realized I had to sever the ties between me and the people I associated myself with so intimately last year because they were not the vision of a Godly young woman that I needed that involved in my life. I'm sure Jesus has big plans for them just like  He does for me. But I had to choose to walk away from them in order to find what great adventure the Lord wanted to take me on.

It is still a major struggle to seek God above everything else, which is so sad because His love is the only truly inspiring thing I've found. But it's hard to be in love with such a perfect God. Because I'm so messed up and He is so Holy. He doesn't justify any wrong I do. Rather, He kindly asks me to give it up so I can love Him more. It's rough, but it's the life I was chosen for. 

Although I am no longer friends with the HP girl, I still think about her all the time. I started reading the first Harry Potter book again this week. I read some before bed last night and had a dream about her griping me out. I am haunted by the ghost of a lost friendship and I want it to end. I want freedom from the guilt that she holds over me in my sleep. This is out of hand.