Party: Success

Last night was my going away/21st birthday party in Stillwater. It was absolutely wonderful. I can't even begin to explain how much fun I had. I am so very thankful for everyone that came out to dance, go paint-and-powder crazy and make it the best night of my life. I'll post pictures and write a list of my top ten memories from the night later. Right now, I'm taking a much-needed nap.




Xoxo,
Kristen

Yellow

I went to a random concert last night at this basement venue called the Hell Cactus. It was like being transported back into the 70s. There were sweaty, greasy hippies tripping acid, grooving and spazzing to the music, and the rock was so raw and dirty you could hardly make out the lyrics above the feedback. Someone brought a upply of 3-D glasses, so during the Dull Drums whole set (they were the headliners), I hippie danced to watch the pretty colors change. haha. It was well worth the wait. I had such a good time and, consequently, only got five hours of sleep last night. But it was awesome.

I've been kinda bummin about the fact that I'm leaving. My countdown is at 11 days right now before I leave for Basic. For the last 11 months, I've stood strong against falling in love because, at this point in my life and my ever-looming career, it would be pointless for me to begin anything romantic. So I'm fighting myself as best as I can. It's been three wonderful weeks but I have to get real with myself. I'm leaving Tulsa and I'm not searching for a reason to come back.

Some Things

 I'm finally on my own, enjoying my newly established freedom. Teri is like my twin, so it's not difficult staying happy and being together all the time. Work is good. I have two more days with Jack and two more shifts at Chili's before I'm no longer occupied by the frivolousness of guiding people to seats so they can over-indulge in food that's terrible for them.


Although I am capable of opening my heart, sometimes it's best to establish a no-expectation policy... which is why I am going to be a cat lady with Teri. We'll retire somewhere nice and breezy where we can wear sun dresses all the time and not have to worry about silly things like boys with beards.


That is all.


XoXo,
Kristen

Challengers

On a completely different note from my last blog post, life is exciting, wonderful and as promising as it will ever be. Moving in with Teri is going to be a total blast. We both have off work for the next three days and, since it's spring break, we are obligation-free. I am so excited to have someone to be alone with, instead of just being alone on my own. We are going to bake together and I'm going to start cooking for us! I could not be more thrilled than I am right now. The sweetness of independence is on the tip of my tongue. I can't wait to swim in it.

Andrew and I have been seeing each other, which is funny how things work out. Our just-for-fun date has comfortably become a sweet little spring fling. He's a dear, and a jolly good time to be with. We dance fiercely together, I laugh at all his silly jokes and he holds my hand in front of his friends. I am very pleased with this arrangement, even if it's only temporary. It's still nice to spend time with a sweet friend and learn who they are. I love getting to know people, and understanding why they are the way they are. He's really interesting and I feel like I have a lot to learn from him, which makes talking to him easy.

We're pretty photogenic together (if I do say so myself), and I am looking forward to taking many more pictures with him on the adventures we will have together over the next three weeks.

I hope posting this picture doesn't make me creepy,
but I think it's pretty adorable. Cute boy.

You Grow, You Roar

"I wonder if I'm allowed ever to see.

I wonder if I'm allowed to ever be free.

I wonder if I'm allowed just ever to be."

-Tornado, Jonsi

Life has been very interesting and the emotional tide has been higher than normal. My dad has taken the roll of probation officer in my life because he is convinced that spending time with my friends is going to cost me my life or, worse (in his opinion) my career in the Air Force. He is convinced that I am going to accidentally ingest weed or some other illicit substance that would make me fail the drug test that I have to pass when I go to MEPS for my final processing tests before Basic. He is so worried and afraid that something is going to happen to me that I've even started thinking "What would happen if (insert terrible freak accident here)?" and I have never been a worrier before in my life. I don't know if it consoles him to make someone else scared shitless for their life. I could go out and live my life, enjoy the last three weeks here in Tulsa with my friends, and everything would be alright. But he can't live knowing that something terrible could be happening to me at any second of every day. He's going to worry himself to death. He is, after all, the one who got so worked up and stressed out about work (and the fact that I didn't spackle my bedroom walls when he wanted it done) that he almost had a stroke just last week.

 Life is too fucking short, exciting and unpredictable to spend sitting at home, worrying about what could go wrong. I'm not going to let stress rule my life and determine what I do on a daily basis. It truly breaks my heart that it has come to this. But I'm not going to let him keep me prisoner in this house when I haven't done anything wrong to deserve this mistrust.

Yesterday, he gave me an ultimatum: I have to be home by 10 pm every night from now until I leave for Basic, or I have to move out. He also said he "hadn't decided" if he was going to let me go to my own Going Away/21st birthday celebration. After much consideration, I've decided that this is just too much possessive behavior for me. His controlling habits are not something that I have to submit myself to as an adult. I didn't even have a curfew at 16, but now I have one at 20...? 

I love him and respect him as much as I can, but it isn't mutual. I sat down with him yesterday and read off my points, reasons and arguments for why I thought he should let me continue spending time with my friends, and not put a time limit on me. But it was to no avail. I'm not out there having sex, doing drugs and getting drunk. I'm hanging out with my friends, eating at diners in Tulsa, driving around Tulsa taking pictures, watching movies into the wee hours of the night, and enjoying the sweet friendships that I won't get to enjoy like this [obligation-free] for the rest of my life.

Not Much

I miss the 90s, mainly for it's rainy days and gospel music. Please listen to this song and be blessed.

I really needed tonight, and I am so thankful for my extended family at OFA. I forgot how much beauty there is in brokenness. I can do no good, I can accomplish nothing worthwhile without God-inspired love motivating me. I may be good at faking happy, but when I allow Jesus' joy to take its rightful place in my heart, there's nothing fake about it. Life is scary sometimes because we don't know what's going to happen. But being afraid isn't going to put me in control of anything. So I'm surrendering. No more Kristen.

Life-Long Living

I've been so stinkin' busy lately! Between working with Jack during the day, hosting at night and on the weekends, and juggling about four doubles a week, I hardly have time to sit, think and write. But, now that  have some time, I have so many things to write about I can hardly decide which to discuss first! 

 

Date Night

I'll start off with the follow-up to my date ad that Cyterica posted for me. Tuesday ended up just being a Kristen and Teri date night. We couldn't find the place where they were having to author come speak, so we gave up our hunt and settled for $5 Pizza Night at Joe Momma's Pizza (which is right by where the Booksmart event was supposed to be). I ran into a friend that I worked with at Hideaway Stillwater, who works at Joe Momma's now. Her manager approached Teri and I and asked if we were interested in applying to work there. I told him I was leaving soon but that Teri's been looking for a job. She filled out an application, interviewed on the spot, and went in the next day to be offered a job on the spot. How awesome is that!?! We were so excited because we had just been talking about how much fun it would be for her to work there, and she mentioned that she'd applied there before. She goes in tomorrow for her first day on the job! Yay! Good things come to those who wait.

Dance Night

Thursday night, I had to work but Teri cam and got me afterward and we went dancing with a bunch of her friends. It was so great. I haven't hung out with people that love dancing as much as I do in aaaaages! Andrew was kinda my date and we danced together a lot. It was fantastic. Brotha can break it down, and he's a fun-loving guy so it was definitely a good time. After going to the District, we went back to Andrew's house for an after-party, which was a wildly good time. We danced to the entire FMFC Matt&Kim/Jay-Z album, and we didn't stop dancing until about three in the morning. I stayed the night at Teri's, then we woke up (with dead legs because I dance for about five hours straight), showered and went to breakfast with Andrew and Bobby, one of my new friends through Teri and Andrew.

The Rest of the Weekend...

was really interesting. There were lots of ups and downs. I had to work a double on Saturday, and I was still totally dead from going dancing, so it was rough. I slept REAL good that night though, and woke up yesterday morning and got ready because Teri and I had plans to make some stencils. (We're determined to be the next famous street artists, like Banksy, so we're practicing now). 

As I was getting ready to hang out with Teri, my dad called to me from downstairs and said he was going to have my step mom take him to the hospital. He said he felt really confused, couldn't remember where he worked, and felt like something was wrong. So I made him take some Aspirin and sit down, while Nonna finished getting ready. They left, and I didn't want to sit at home and worry, so I called Teri and told her what was going on and she said she'd be over to pick me up in a bit so we could go shopping. We went to the Goodwill here in Owasso, and we both got some really awesome stuff. I lucked out though because I found a pair of black-and-red-floral Original Dr.Marten's for $8.00. I also got a Schwinn t-shirt, a black long sleeve shirt that says "My Mom Rocks", a chocolate brown corduroy skirt, and a beautiful leopard-printed cotton wrap skirt. I got it all for 26.00 even... which is why I LOVE going thrifting!

I got back home around 2:30, and Dad and Nonna got home a bit later. Come to find out, he had what's called an AIT, which is basically a mini-stroke. It's caused by a blood or plaque clot in the brain, which repairs itself. It's still brought on by stress, and high blood pressure.

They did a CAT scan and saw that everything was fine, but he has a follow-up appointment with his physician tomorrow to get him on medication for his high blood pressure. He decided to give up his political endeavors, which I'm really happy about. I hate what campaigning does to his nerves, because that stress always finds its way into the happiness of the household.

After I found out he was okay, I went and hung out with Teri again. We got our art supplies from Walmart, ate at Chili's (where Andrew met up with us), then went to Teri's parents house to make our stencils. I made a cupcake with hearts around it and "XOXO" above it, Teri made one that said "R.I.P. Revolution In Progress", and Andrew made one of America with a bicycle layered over it. They all turned out awesome so we spray-painted them onto a piece of canvas that Teri had at her house. 

This is how it turned out:

Awesome.

After we finished our stencils and painting, Andrew and I drove around Catoosa and North Tulsa going through each other's music selections and singing along to the songs we both know. We did that for a while, then went back to his house "The Estate", where Andrew and a few of our mutual friends live. Bobby, his girlfriend Alyssa, and a few of the guys were watching "Daybreakers", which is a sick vampire movie, but very well made. Then we watched the Naked Gun, which I had never seen before. But it was positively hilarious. I had a really great time hanging out with them, and I'm glad I have the chance to before I leave for Basic. They're really fun people, and Teri is a wonderful friend. I'm so glad she's in my life, as well as my new friends. :)