Responsibility

Today is the first day that I've ever felt positive and motivated to get my finances in order. My New Years resolution is to step up my game all around in my financial responsibility. My savings account actually has money in it, I paid my bills for the whole month of January all today, AND I even have an $80 allowance for the next two weeks!
I really wish I'd been this on top of my finances for the last nine months of my Air Force career, but you can't cry over spilled milk. At least I have a new wardrobe, a few new toys, and a great stock of cleaning supplies and sweet cereals. John has been really encouraging about it, which definitely makes me feel like I can do this. He's really good with saving and has a great credit score. I feel like, if I'm going to be with someone that has great credit, I should bring the same thing to the table. It's a work in progress but I'm going to get there.

BECOMING DEBT-FREE...
My long-term get-out-of-debt goals are already slowly being achieved. I finished paying off the money that I owed my dad today. I paid my cell phone bill (which is monthly). I finally got caught up on what I owed for my student loan last month, so today I made my payment for January (that's not even due until the 21st! WINNING!). I also set aside $82.00 to put toward my OSU debt, which I can't pay until I figure out who my debt was sent to.

I tried getting my free credit report online the other day, but for whatever reason, it wouldn't let me access my information... Soooo, I'm going to have to call in and request it. I need to do it really soon too because I can't even make the payment on my OSU debt until I find out WHO I'm sending the money to.

SAVING UP...
My long-term savings goals are to save up for a down payment and purchase a nice car, save four thousand dollars and move off base, and save up $5,000-8,000 to get InvisAlign braces. I think the biggest motivating factor in saving my money has to be that I don't have any sort of savings account to my name.

I want to start setting money aside for retirement, which you may think is a little too soon to be thinking about. But (worst case scenario) if I die young, all that money will go towards taking care of the people I love most in my stead. And I don't think that's a bad thing at all.

I don't know when, but one of these days I'm going to have a family. I want to be able to take care of their needs and help them learn how to work hard and achieve their wants. The best way I know how to prepare for that is to save my money, get out of debt, and work to build up my credit so they don't have to go without the necessities and a few life lessons about financial responsibility like I did growing up.


Con Mucho Amor,
K

These Three Words

I've realized that I'm a do-er when it comes to how I show my love for people. I love spending time and effort on something that I'm doing for someone I really love.
I suck at giving gifts because people don't need things. People NEED food which is why I love cooking and baking for people. People need beauty in their life, which is why I don't have a problem making presents for people. But I would much rather receive a gift that someone put time and effort into. Is that too much to ask?

Sick Puppies

Johnny is sick with the virus I had. Go figure. He's been vomiting and running a fever all day. It just broke though and he's passed out right now. I've been taking care of him the best I can, but there's only so much you can do when someone can hardly hold down water.

I've taken this moment of quiet to work on some paintings. I've got two working right now. I re-did the background for the geisha painting with pages of an old book. I ripped them up, mod podged them in random places, and painted an antique-looking brown over them. I still want to do the geisha on it and I think I may do a cherry blossom tree in the background. I also want to use an Anais Nin quote in the top portion. The quote is "And the day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

The other painting I started is landscape and I sectioned it in thirds painted in a pale yellow, a pale teal, and a baby pink. I'm going to paint a little house, a cupcake, and three little people holding hands. The three people are going to be Pons, John and I. They're my family here at Cannon. We've talked about getting a house together, which would be wonderful. And we always have family dinners together, at least twice a week. Pons and I both absolutely love cooking and baking. It's a million times more fun when you're doing it with people you love, for people you love.

It sucks that John isn't well, but I'm glad I'm here to take care of him. Between vomiting sessions, he said "Baby, I really appreciate you taking care of me. Thank you." I didn't really know what to say, but I went with "Don't even mention it. I do it because I care." I told him that, anytime I'm sick, my mom used to always take care of me. She was such a great nurse. She'd lay with me and stroke my hair, make me soup, put cold towels on my forehead, and get me Gatorade and 7-Up even if we couldn't afford it. She's always been a saint, and this is the best way I can think to be like her. It's all in the little things.

Stir Fry-day

Well, I've been living in New Mexico for seven weeks now and I like it now about as much as I did when I got here... which isn't a lot at all.

My shop blows and videography is not "mission essential" here at Cannon AFB so I rarely ever get a chance to do my job. Joining the Air Force was the greatest decision I made for my life at this time and I stand by that. I just wish I didn't get screwed on my first PCS. When I got this job, I was told that it was predominantly overseas, yet here I am... at a remote location at an uncomfortably high altitude in the middle of Nowhere, New Mexico. 

Normally I'm not as pessimistic about my assignment. I've just had a rough week. It's bad enough that I hate my shop. What's worse is I went from not having any legitimate work to do, to being the only person in video, with the three other people in Vid out sick. And today, I'm the one that's down for the count with the virus that knocked everyone out this week. Sore throat. Achy body. Stopped-up ears. Exhausted. And hating life at Cannon.

I miss the freedom of having the option to call in to work sick without having to check with my supervisor, schedule an appointment with Family Health, walk to Medical to be seen by a military doctor, then call in again to tell them what's wrong with me. All I'd have to do is say "I have diarrhea and a fever. Do I need to find someone to cover my shift?" and they'd say yes or no.

On a different subject...

Westin and I no longer speak. I've been seeing a guy named John that I met through Pons here at Cannon. He's a blast. He's a really good friend and a good guy altogether. Westin "de-friended" me on Facebook a while back, and I assume it's a repercussion of seeing photos of John and I together. But I'm not deterred by it. Tech school romance was always a joke, and I'm the gullible one that thought it might last. I have no one to blame but myself for being so naive. But he was right. Time heals everything. I've made a conscious effort to get over it and that is precisely what I've done. I really am happy with John and there's nothing wrong with that. 

I'm normally pretty busy on the weekends doing random stuff, but since I'm down for the count, I'm going to hopefully get crafty this week. I have a few things that I've been wanting to make. One of them is a secret hiding place in an old book. And another is a painting of a geisha... but I don't know how long that idea will last once I start working on it. Well, I'm gonna go wash my hair. It's pretty gnarly.

Xo,

K

Amy and the Highway: On My Way

30 minutes away from Cannon. I'm ready to be there.

Westin and I decided to take the pressure off of ourselves and "broke up" but everything is the exact same. I don't know when I'll see him next, but I don't feel the same urgency as I did. I was afraid that, if I didn't see him soon, we were going to end up hating each other and breaking up. But we took a two day break, then decided that breaking up would save our relationship. Is that normal? I don't really know. But I know I'm so much happier, and he is too.
Somehow, it feels like we're closer now. We did it to put our friendship first, which was the best idea we've had. But I think having the title made me like dig my nails into him, instead of making me feel more secure. But now I'm just like "Ehh, he can't break my heart if I already knew he wasn't mine for the keeping."
I don't worry about it anymore though. I love him and I'm not worried about it. If it's supposed to work out, it will.
Well, I'm only a few minutes away from Cannon, so when I can blog again, I will.

Xoxo, k

Free Crappy Portraits and Other News

Back when I still had orders for Japan, I sent a picture of Westin and I to the wonderful people at Free Crappy Portraits and got this lovely little pdf in my email earlier this week. It's so stinkin adorable.

In other news, my Broadcast video production class has been insanely busy and demanding lately. But I finished editing my VOSOT (or Voice Over Sound On Tape) before lunch and it's not due until 4. So I've had all afternoon to do nothing, which is positively wonderful. I've been watching Taylor Swift music videos with my friend Jaye, listening to spoken-word poetry by Anis Mojgani, and catching up with friends on Facebook.
Last night, I was very sad and homesick for Teri and my family. Today, I'm listening to He is Legend, DJ Kool, and Stevie Wonder... and feeling nothing but subdued energy. I want to rip off my ABUs, kick off these horrid combat boots and dance like crazy. I haven't danced in far too long. I do believe the last time I really properly broke it down was April 2nd, my last Saturday in Tulsa. I went to Andrew's birthday party at The Estate with Teri and we cut a rug.
I love my friends here in Maryland, but they like drinking and sitting more than dancing... which is a problem when you love gettin' low like I do. Being surrounded by people that want different things than what I want is a big challenge, and is what makes me so homesick. I'm not looking to just hook up with someone and I don't want to be drunk every moment of my life. I'd rather do something educational and classy than get schmammered at the bowling alley or the mall every weekend. I've heard that alcoholism is a serious problem in the military and now I understand why. You take bored, homesick people, give them a big paycheck and nothing to do but either a) sit in their room alone and read, or b) be social and drink with everyone else.
It's not a problem for me, but I can already see how it effects people that I'm here at tech school with and it's sad. But there's no alternatives to a good time that I've been able to find that's cheap, nearby, and better. If you have any ideas on what to do on base instead of drink, please share!

XOXO, k

Homesick

I can't tell if I miss home because I miss home, or if I miss home because it represented a really chill time in my life. I desperately wish I could sew, paint, and sing along to my favorite songs with the windows open. I wish I had time to take pictures with my Diana. I wish I could sit with Teri on the windowsill drinking coffee and listening to Otis.

I'm growing up, and it's scary. I care for people that I may never see again. I miss people I know I'll never see again. I just wish I could go home for a weekend... but the life I've chosen isn't very kind or considerate when it comes to homesickness. But if you read this, please pause for a mo and pray for me. Pray that I can find home somewhere other than Oklahoma so it doesn't hurt as bad here in Maryland.