More, More, More Me

This past year was fucking difficult.

My dad had a heart attack on Father's Day. My brother deployed for eight months. I started running the video section myself right when I hit my one year mark in the Air Force. I permanently sprained my left ankle and did four months of physical therapy, for nothing. I purchased Christmas presents for two different guys (thinking I would be in a relationship on December 25th), both of which managed to evade buying me anything by breaking up with me. I developed stress-induced IBS and got put on anti-depressants because Cannon Air Force Base is ruining my life.

Like this past year, I could attempt to drink away my pain, suffer in silence and take it out on myself. But I'm honestly really fuckin' tired of being miserable. Before I came into this world, my mom dedicated me to a life of servitude for Jesus Christ.

[If you're thinking "ZOMG, you guys, how can she drop the 'F bomb' and talk about Jesus in the same paragraph?", stop reading my blog. You clearly don't know me well enough to know I just don't care anymore. I am not the cookie-cutter Christian my sweet mother raised me to be; I'm the real version of that because I know I'm busted but that God loves my anyway. So deal.]

I was never perfect and I never intend to be. I cuss too much. I can be really cynical. And my family doesn't always approve of my life choices. But that's just fine. Because, at the end of the day, when my head hits my pillow, I'm the one that has to go to sleep with the decisions I made.

I do my best to love people the way I love myself. Treat people the exact way Jesus would want me to. And I do everything I can to the best of my ability to bring him glory. [If that offends you, that's sad. I think you have some soul searching to do... I know I do.]

This year, my goal is to be myself with you more than ever before. I don't know who is reading this, but that's ok. I don't need to. You serve as my invisible audience that will silently judge whether or not I resolved my resolution from a distance. Judge on, my friend.

Have a seriously bad ass day today, for we are not promised tomorrow.