Broke as a Joke (but Happy as a Clam)

Life has been a nonsensical blur of dumb busyness and stupid fun. I'm really getting more freedom in my job now, and it feels great. I shot (video) at Cannon's bombing range all day today with my two favorite people in the office. Photographers are seriously so much more chill than videographers. I liked all of today outside of the office.

I only have two classes left in my public speaking course, which dumbfounds me that the last time I blogged was almost two months ago exactly. I'm working on my last really important speech in this class, which is due tomorrow night(!).

Johnny and I are gettin serious about our bad habit of eating out when we should save our money. I met with a financial advisor last week about my hypothetical "600 calorie/day diet" that I put myself on financially. I have no wiggle room, but the pay-off is how rapidly my debts are decreasing! I've paid off 62% of my OSU debt in just two paychecks and my tax return. It felt nearly impossible at first. But I remembered that I just have to use all the resources I have and get serious about not wasting money on eating out all the time.

God honored my diligence to get my ducks in a row last week when Tonya Jones from OSU decided that, since I was making such an effort to get my debt paid off, that I didn't need to pay the $1,400.00 worth of late fees that I've accrued over the last two years of non-payment. When she did that, that's when I realized why God moved me to Cannon instead of the original orders I had to Japan. I never would have gotten serious about paying all these things off if I hadn't been in the same time zone or country. And I wouldn't have met Johnny, who has totally inspired me to be fiscally responsible.
He's made me realize that I don't want to go into a marriage with financial baggage. I don't want us to have money problems from the get-go. He doesn't deserve that in the least bit.

I never thought I'd see a silverlining to being in New Mexico, or even growing up broke. But now I know the purpose of me going through the Valley, and how useful it is to know how to go without all the cushy things most Americans "couldn't live without". Thank you, God, for the silent answer to the questions I always asked growing up, like "Why don't we ever have money?" lol. Now I know why.

Lovely Day, Beauty Everywhere

I miss being overwhelmed by the beauty of people, nature, life and God. Some smells remind me of it. Sometimes the stars are so bright and the sky so clear that I feel the overwhelming joy of beauty flood my body.
But I miss feeling it everyday. I don't know why I thought joining the military would be a good idea for a free spirit like me. Uniforms suck. This base is fugly. Higher ups don't do their job and don't give us a budget but expect us to get our job done without two dimes to rub together.
Politics are a wreck right now and I don't have a choice to stay uninformed by the stupidity because it's my job to know what's going on.
And on top of all that nonsense, I'm pretty positive there's a seriously black mold problem in my building. I've been consistently I'll since I got here at the end of October. Oh Lord, deliver me from this mess that I'm in.

2011: Year of Growth. 2012: Year of Reform.

My word for the year 2011 was "Growth", and grow I did. My life has changed so much since last year and, when I stopped to think about it, I'm blown away. But, as I look into the vast unknown that is known as "My Future", I don't know what it holds, but I know what I hope for. And, little by little, I'm going to meet my goals.

I just woke up from a dream a bit ago that I went back to college. Teri's coming to visit me and she's driving out tomorrow. In my dream, I called her and told her that she only had to drive to Talequah because I was moving to NSU. I was riding with my
mom and we were admiring how lovely the campus was. I would never happily go there, but in my dream it was awesome that I was so close to Teri Beri.

I'll be starting my first college class since I left Stillwater (in May of 2010)
on January 17th, which is two weeks from today! It's so depressing to me when I think that I could be graduating with a degree this May if I had just stuck to it. And what's more depressing is thinking that I haven't been in a college classroom for a year and a half! I went to tech school and BMT, which was six months of intense studying so I'm not out of practice.

It's kind of funny actually because tech school made me crave education, which is why I jumped on the chance to take a class as soon as possible. I only need four more general education classes and a few technical elective hours before I'm done with my CCAF (Community College of the Air Force) degree in Public Affairs.

It's ironic that, while I was at OSU, I desperately wanted a career and now that I have one, I desperately want an education. The grass is always gonna be greener, huh? Having a degree doesn't necessarily make you more respected in the military, but it does help you rank up faster... So I guess it does set you apart. I don't know if I want to commission and I don't know if I want to stay in the Air Force. But right now, I know that I want to prove to myself that I have what it takes to get a bachelors and maybe a masters.

I want to get a degree, move to a big city, and become a radio DJ. I love music, sharing trivial information, and using my radio voice. I know I would absolutely love having that job, AND going out on location to meet people! I suppose I could do that without a degree, but I want to be smarter before I go on the air. Call me vain, but I want to represent myself as best as possible.

No matter what I do or where I go, I want to end up somewhere beautiful, warm and sunny, busy, smart and cultured... and where I can shine and exceed everyone's expectations of me. Myself included. Although 2011 was the year of Growth, 2012 is the year of Reform in which my focus is on coming up with a plan that I can stick to in order to achieve my educational, financial, and personal goals.

Responsibility

Today is the first day that I've ever felt positive and motivated to get my finances in order. My New Years resolution is to step up my game all around in my financial responsibility. My savings account actually has money in it, I paid my bills for the whole month of January all today, AND I even have an $80 allowance for the next two weeks!
I really wish I'd been this on top of my finances for the last nine months of my Air Force career, but you can't cry over spilled milk. At least I have a new wardrobe, a few new toys, and a great stock of cleaning supplies and sweet cereals. John has been really encouraging about it, which definitely makes me feel like I can do this. He's really good with saving and has a great credit score. I feel like, if I'm going to be with someone that has great credit, I should bring the same thing to the table. It's a work in progress but I'm going to get there.

BECOMING DEBT-FREE...
My long-term get-out-of-debt goals are already slowly being achieved. I finished paying off the money that I owed my dad today. I paid my cell phone bill (which is monthly). I finally got caught up on what I owed for my student loan last month, so today I made my payment for January (that's not even due until the 21st! WINNING!). I also set aside $82.00 to put toward my OSU debt, which I can't pay until I figure out who my debt was sent to.

I tried getting my free credit report online the other day, but for whatever reason, it wouldn't let me access my information... Soooo, I'm going to have to call in and request it. I need to do it really soon too because I can't even make the payment on my OSU debt until I find out WHO I'm sending the money to.

SAVING UP...
My long-term savings goals are to save up for a down payment and purchase a nice car, save four thousand dollars and move off base, and save up $5,000-8,000 to get InvisAlign braces. I think the biggest motivating factor in saving my money has to be that I don't have any sort of savings account to my name.

I want to start setting money aside for retirement, which you may think is a little too soon to be thinking about. But (worst case scenario) if I die young, all that money will go towards taking care of the people I love most in my stead. And I don't think that's a bad thing at all.

I don't know when, but one of these days I'm going to have a family. I want to be able to take care of their needs and help them learn how to work hard and achieve their wants. The best way I know how to prepare for that is to save my money, get out of debt, and work to build up my credit so they don't have to go without the necessities and a few life lessons about financial responsibility like I did growing up.


Con Mucho Amor,
K

These Three Words

I've realized that I'm a do-er when it comes to how I show my love for people. I love spending time and effort on something that I'm doing for someone I really love.
I suck at giving gifts because people don't need things. People NEED food which is why I love cooking and baking for people. People need beauty in their life, which is why I don't have a problem making presents for people. But I would much rather receive a gift that someone put time and effort into. Is that too much to ask?

Sick Puppies

Johnny is sick with the virus I had. Go figure. He's been vomiting and running a fever all day. It just broke though and he's passed out right now. I've been taking care of him the best I can, but there's only so much you can do when someone can hardly hold down water.

I've taken this moment of quiet to work on some paintings. I've got two working right now. I re-did the background for the geisha painting with pages of an old book. I ripped them up, mod podged them in random places, and painted an antique-looking brown over them. I still want to do the geisha on it and I think I may do a cherry blossom tree in the background. I also want to use an Anais Nin quote in the top portion. The quote is "And the day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

The other painting I started is landscape and I sectioned it in thirds painted in a pale yellow, a pale teal, and a baby pink. I'm going to paint a little house, a cupcake, and three little people holding hands. The three people are going to be Pons, John and I. They're my family here at Cannon. We've talked about getting a house together, which would be wonderful. And we always have family dinners together, at least twice a week. Pons and I both absolutely love cooking and baking. It's a million times more fun when you're doing it with people you love, for people you love.

It sucks that John isn't well, but I'm glad I'm here to take care of him. Between vomiting sessions, he said "Baby, I really appreciate you taking care of me. Thank you." I didn't really know what to say, but I went with "Don't even mention it. I do it because I care." I told him that, anytime I'm sick, my mom used to always take care of me. She was such a great nurse. She'd lay with me and stroke my hair, make me soup, put cold towels on my forehead, and get me Gatorade and 7-Up even if we couldn't afford it. She's always been a saint, and this is the best way I can think to be like her. It's all in the little things.

Stir Fry-day

Well, I've been living in New Mexico for seven weeks now and I like it now about as much as I did when I got here... which isn't a lot at all.

My shop blows and videography is not "mission essential" here at Cannon AFB so I rarely ever get a chance to do my job. Joining the Air Force was the greatest decision I made for my life at this time and I stand by that. I just wish I didn't get screwed on my first PCS. When I got this job, I was told that it was predominantly overseas, yet here I am... at a remote location at an uncomfortably high altitude in the middle of Nowhere, New Mexico. 

Normally I'm not as pessimistic about my assignment. I've just had a rough week. It's bad enough that I hate my shop. What's worse is I went from not having any legitimate work to do, to being the only person in video, with the three other people in Vid out sick. And today, I'm the one that's down for the count with the virus that knocked everyone out this week. Sore throat. Achy body. Stopped-up ears. Exhausted. And hating life at Cannon.

I miss the freedom of having the option to call in to work sick without having to check with my supervisor, schedule an appointment with Family Health, walk to Medical to be seen by a military doctor, then call in again to tell them what's wrong with me. All I'd have to do is say "I have diarrhea and a fever. Do I need to find someone to cover my shift?" and they'd say yes or no.

On a different subject...

Westin and I no longer speak. I've been seeing a guy named John that I met through Pons here at Cannon. He's a blast. He's a really good friend and a good guy altogether. Westin "de-friended" me on Facebook a while back, and I assume it's a repercussion of seeing photos of John and I together. But I'm not deterred by it. Tech school romance was always a joke, and I'm the gullible one that thought it might last. I have no one to blame but myself for being so naive. But he was right. Time heals everything. I've made a conscious effort to get over it and that is precisely what I've done. I really am happy with John and there's nothing wrong with that. 

I'm normally pretty busy on the weekends doing random stuff, but since I'm down for the count, I'm going to hopefully get crafty this week. I have a few things that I've been wanting to make. One of them is a secret hiding place in an old book. And another is a painting of a geisha... but I don't know how long that idea will last once I start working on it. Well, I'm gonna go wash my hair. It's pretty gnarly.

Xo,

K