I am so ready for snow. I just don't want it to be cold outside for no reason anymore. Oklahoma's winter has a bad habit of getting so cold that even the sky gets discouraged from trying to precipitate. The whole state gets dumpy and bitter with cold, and then (typically) there will be a huge ice storm or two when everyone loses their power. The last few winters have been adventurous, to say the least. We had a white Christmas last year, but I didn't have as much fun as I should have. I stayed in Stillwater and worked all but two days over Christmas break of last year. It's weird now that I am doing the exact opposite.
It's crazy for me to think that it's been over a year now that I've been wanting to go into the Air Force. I went back to Stillwater this weekend with my friends Teri and Kacey to visit some of our friends from high school, and also so they could meet some of my OSU friends that I used to hang out with all the time. It was really fun, but served as a great reminder of exactly why I chose to leave Stillwater. I left it to go home, sit in my room, blog and crochet all day. Totally worth it. I really have embraced the whole "starving artist" thing completely. I even eat Ramen and Chinese takeout leftovers when I totally don't have to. It's not like I'm doing it for inspiration. Being broke as a joke is inspiration enough. Nay, I just feel bad eating my parents food. So I stick to the basics: water, coffee, Beef Ramen, and peanut butter toast. It's not the healthiest diet, but I get quite a bit of variety thrown in with living with a Russian cook and whatnot. She makes my favorite vegetable soup or chili for me all the time.
In other news...
I've come to the realization that salvaging a friendship with an ex is just a bad idea when your ex is a d-bag. So, I am officially cut off from the reminder that he didn't think I was worth waiting for. I don't need that ish anymore because I know I deserve so much better.
My Pops and I got to talking about it today. We normally don't talk about my feelings, dreams or aspirations beyond the basics. He expressed concern that I was going to get into another relationship before leaving in April. I heard his concern but I had to give it some time before I could coolly express how strongly I feel about not getting into anything right now. Long distance relationships require a lot of trust. And James proved that he was not trustworthy. I don't like to dwell on the past when it's not a pretty one, but I really need to learn my lesson this time around. No compromise. Even if it means dying alone and being eaten by my family of cats. I just cannot and will not sacrifice any standard that I felt was important enough to write down on the quality control check list.
No more bullsh. End-o-story. I adequately expressed my sentiments towards his concerns, so we're definitely on the same page now. I watched About a Boy (Hugh Grant, 2002) this evening and it's about how a lonely man and a messed up little boy form a father-son relationship out of necessity, and create a network of trust and love for each other. It reminded me that romance is not the most important kind of love there is. Every other type of relationship is more frequent, friendship and mentoring. Those are the most vital because it's through that kind of love and relationship that we can benefit from each others' experiences and mistakes so we don't have to make them ourself.
Well, my sleepy time tea is getting the better of me. Have a great week in the Lord.
Jah Love.
p.s. I don't really have a bitter heart. I just like this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpDXra9Zbk4
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