Strength and Weakness

I've never been fond of the idea of being rich, famous, or influential. I'm really terrible at being consistent with everything I do. I think I'd be a horrible example of what people should do, which is why I've always been afraid of achievement or being great at the things that I love. I never want to be held to high esteem or be put on a pedestal because it is a far fall. And, truthfully, I've always been afraid of heights. I've always been a child and I don't think I'll ever grow out of it.
     I am coming to terms with the fact that my life is not about me. It is scary and beautiful. I've been given the opportunity to do great things because I have been saved by grace. The things (the unsure, looming challenges that are fast-approaching) that I must conquer are not for my own sake, but for the sake of what is right and true. I stand, first and foremost, for the Love that Jesus Christ has shown me to be real. He sacrificed His life for me and lived as an example of the wonderful things that we, His Beloved, can do through the infinite Love of God.
    I am incapable of doing anything good on my own. But, now that I do not live for myself, I have no reason to be afraid of the great things in store for me. I am still slightly gun-shy because I've always been terrified of Holiness and the weaponry that comes along with the Truth. It is the flesh that I am made of that has made me this way. But I am determined to not live in fear anymore. I have nothing to be afraid of. Because I am not dependent on my own strengths any longer. And when I am at my weakest, His strength proves faithful.

  
"But he said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
2 Corinthians 12:9