My life is finally starting to feel like my own again. It's taken a while to adjust to not being at BMT anymore but getting to wear my "civvies" ( "civilian attire") definitely helps. I got to read a book today. And I've been listening to something other than angry MTIs and cadences. Music, literature and dear friends make me feel like I'm still the girl that's been locked up under this "military bearing". I am and always will be a believer in the impossible, in the power of beauty and, most of all, love.
I got on Facebook and looked at photos of my former life and I definitely felt a deep ache that I've been ignoring since the third night that I was at BMT. That third night, I cried myself to sleep, and vowed that I wouldn't do it again for missing home. Now I can't sigh without shuddering a bit. The realization that I'll never return to my previous life is bittersweet. I've chosen the life of a gypsy with the discipline that the military requires. It's pretty weird to think that I may not "settle" anywhere for the next twenty years (i.e. when I could potentially retire from my military career).
Class starts on Thursday for me, and that's when it all begins. Coming here I knew that not a lot of people in the Air Force had a Broadcast job. But, upon arrival, I realized why that is. Broadcast Journalism has the 4th highest drop out rate out of all AFSCs (Air Force jobs)... which means there is a chance that I could fail. But I refuse to accept defeat before I even begin class. I'm sharp, an excellent voice actor, and I already know about what I'm getting myself into. I can do this. And I will not fail.
Interesting to read, Kristen. Keep writing! :)
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